Sabrina really is a happy baby 90% of the time but I happened to capture this not so happy moment and thought that the picture went perfectly for this post.
Motherhood has been a roller coaster for me lately. The ups and downs of the day and the constant repetition of the same tracks I've been down before have left me wanting to scream, sometimes for joy and often times not, and sometimes have left my stomach in knots. There have been days where I wanted to "get out of this line" but once you are in it, there is no going back of course. Parenting is hard. Shepherding my children's hearts is hard (did anyone tell me this beforehand? haha) Sometimes I'm completely at a loss as to how to handle a situation or an emotion being expressed by my child. But mostly, dealing with my own selfish heart and sin is hard. Choosing to walk by the Spirit and not by my flesh is hard. Not being ruled by my own emotions is hard. So often what I'm trying to teach my girls about self-control I'm trying to teach myself. I know that I can't do it in and of myself and that victory only comes through a constant dependence on Christ. What does this look like? Speaking truth to myself from God's Word. James 1:19-20 Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires.
Proverbs 12:16 A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. Running to Him moment by moment and praying for patience, self-control, wisdom for the situation, the strength to bite my tongue and to die to my perceived rights. And believing that God is good, He is in control, and He loves me. All three. All the time. I'm in this battle with you, friends.
Dusty emailed this to me the other day and I wanted to share it to encourage you also. You can go to Kevin DeYoung's blog here to find the original post but I also copied and pasted it below. I'm so thankful for my husband's love, encouragement, and support through this challenging season of life with little ones. I couldn't do this without him. And I'm thankful for my children. These three little gems that God is using to sanctify me. These people that God has appointed for me to ride with on this roller coaster ride.
John Calvin:
If there is no more effective remedy for anger and impatience, he has surely benefited greatly who has so learned to meditate upon God’s providence that he can always recall his mind to this point: the Lord has willed it; therefore it must be borne, not only because one may not contend against it, but also because he wills nothing but what is just and expedient.To sum this up: when we are unjustly wounded by men, let us overlook their wickedness (which would but worsen our pain and sharpen our minds to revenge), remember to mount up to God, and learn to believe for certain that whatever our enemy has wickedly committed against us was permitted and sent by God’s just dispensation. (Institutes 1.17.8)
As you read over the quotation about patience, remember that it applies to parenting too, as we can often be “unjustly wounded” by our children.
It may also help to remember that Calvin struggled with outbursts of anger his whole life.
1 comment:
Catching up on your blog and I wanted to tell you I liked this post and I appreciate your honesty. It's just an encouragement to know that other moms are also sometimes tired, irritable, or cranky, even though we know how blessed we are to be moms. Thanks for sharing your heart. And reminding us of God's providence and supreme control.
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