Forgiveness

Sometimes I'm amazed at how influential children are at such young ages. They really are listening to everything you say and watching everything you do. So it's really hard when you respond wrongly and then see your two year old do exactly the same thing two seconds later but so rewarding when you respond rightly and you see her make the same right choice.

Let me set up the scene: we are trying to get out the door to be at an appointment in ten minutes. First of all, not a good situation. Melt downs by a toddler or by an adult always seem to happen in this setting. Maggie was already fussing for reasons I couldn't figure out. Natalie was decked out with shoes, coat, and hat (a seemingly successful opportunity) and I only needed to run upstairs to grab a blanket before loading Mags into the car seat and getting out the door. On my way upstairs Natalie started crying and I asked her what was wrong but failed to translate anything from the whining. I asked her a number of times to stop crying, my voice getting a little more stern and a little louder each time. Finally, with both girls crying in each ear and my senses overloaded, I lost control and yelled, "Stop crying, ahhhhhh!" as loud as I could without actually letting the neighbors hear. Maggie looked at me like, "Whoa, what's your problem." Natalie continued to cry. I sent her to her room to get some control, called to tell the place I couldn't make it in today, and then tried to get myself back under control. I went up to talk to Natalie and I told her that it was not okay for Mama to get angry and yell and asked her to forgive me. She sweetly did forgive me. Maggie was still crying so I decided that I would try to feed her again. I asked Natalie to take off her coat and wait in her room for me. She got upset that we were not leaving anymore, screamed and then went to her room and shut the door yelling and crying. I felt frustrated by it, but decided to take care of Maggie first. About 10 minutes later, I went to go deal with Natalie's behavior but when I opened the door she stopped crying and came right over to me and sincerely said, "Forgive me." I asked her if she was asking for forgiveness for yelling at me and she said yes. It's the first time she has asked that of her own accord. Although I've set bad examples many times, I always try to seek my children's forgiveness when I've wronged them. It's a joy to see Natalie learning to do that also. We all mess up at times and it's sometimes hard to admit to those whom we've hurt or treated wrongly, even our children, but it's important to seek forgiveness and reconcile that relationship every time. It's amazing how suddenly my anger and frustration were gone as soon as Natalie asked for my forgiveness. I was able to grant it to her right away with mercy and love and to see her with a clean slate. We could start over right then and there and forget the past offenses.

I'm constantly reminded of the Cross. I'm so thankful to know Jesus' forgiveness for me each and every moment of the day also. As I face the day and all my disappointments and failures I can think: Christ died for that very sin. He gave His life to save this broken, angry, selfish sinner and his blood has washed away my sins. Knowing all that Jesus has forgiven me enables me to forgive my husband, my children, and others when they have wronged me.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:12, 13.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John1:9

Everyday I'm working on putting off anger, bitterness, and wrath, and putting on kindness, patience, and humility with my little ones. Parenting is hard but by God's grace He is helping me to train them up in the ways of the Lord and to be an example of Christ to them. I pray that each of you are experiencing Christ's forgiveness daily and are able to extend it to those around you.

A work in progress...Ashley